Here I sit on the evening of October 19, 2009. I had a birthday on September 17, 2009. The cards that I received on that date informed me that I had just succeeded in living for 74 years, but even then I knew that I would be very unlikely to make it to 75 years. That is pretty much OK with me because most of you know how I feel about whether I am living on this side or the other side. I believe, as you probably already know, that once created a human spirit is eternal, for those who are reading these words and have not read my recent story Dominick Gianelli, please go now and read Dominick Gianelli. It will explain how I believe and that is a little different than how you believe. I only hope that what you believe serves you as well as Dominick serves me, it will make it a lot easier for you when you prepare to cross over.

Some time in late May 2009 I took a routine annual physical at the VA {Veterans Administration) Clinic here in Pahrump, Nevada. I had taken my labs and reviewed them with my Doctor. He told me that my labs were all excellent then said I guess I will see you again next year. I figured that is what he would say because my lab reports are always excellent. I am not over weight, I had recently quit smoking my pipe, my cholesterol was good, blood sugar was good, hell everything was good. My wife La Vonne had mentioned before I went for that appointment that I should ask for a chest x-ray this year as I had one for several years and I was 73 years old. I had been working out regularly at the gym for five years but just to humor La Vonne I went ahead and requested the x-ray. My Doctor agreed and made the arrangements.

When the chest x-ray report came back it left some questions unanswered about my lungs, there were some unexplained and suspicious irregularities that need more investigation. On June 10, 2009 I went to our local hospital (Desert View) here in Pahrump and had a CT Scan and a Nuclear Stress test. You can read these tests if you want by clicking on them.

It seems that all that these tests accomplished was a recommendation from the Radiologist that he would recommend a PET Scan. These test results were presented to me by a Dr. Recto who had taken over the Pahrump Clinic when Dr. Frank Toppo left the VA. Dr. Recto said that I should pay no attention to what the Radiologist, Dr. Dean Yarbro had said about the CAT Scan, Dr. Recto said that these guys always recommend more tests just to cover their asses. Dr. Recto said that he was obligated to follow the recommendation of the radiologist and order the test unless I told him that I didn't want the test. Dr. Recto said that he didn't think that the test was called for because I had exhibited no significant recent weight loss. I told Dr. Recto that I did not want the PET Scan and left the Pahrump Clinic. I never saw Dr. Recto again as he had been called to active duty with the reserves.

It was around this time that I started a serious weight loss. I made an appointment to see Dr. Bill Karl at the Pahrump Clinic for August 20 or 21. I had, in the last month lost 20 pounds. Dr. Karl had me first get blood labs which were still excellent. When I saw Dr Karl he ordered the PET Scan and an MRI to be done at Nevada Imaging in Henderson. La Vonne and I spent the night of the 24th at Terrible's in Las Vegas and I had the tests done the next day. Click here to read the PET Scan. Click here to read The MRI

On August 27 I went in to the Pahrump Clinic where Dr. Karl informed me that I had lung cancer. Dr. Karl instructed me to have another CT scan done at Desert View Hospital in Pahrump and a Dr. from Las Vegas would contact me right away to set up an appointment. Stupid me I thought he meant that an oncologist would contact me. Actually no one from Las Vegas contacted me. At this point I was certain that I had lung cancer. I immediately ordered a couple books on cancer and started reading them. within a few days I had acquired 20 one ounce bottles of liquid Zeolite and started taking 40 ounces daily. That in and of itself had been claimed to cure lung cancer. I also bought a cigar shaped item that you soak in a quart of water and it converts the water from ph 6 to ph10. I went on a high alkaline diet. My stomach ached most of the time and I had developed pain in the left side of my chest.

I spent some time on the phone and found that I first needed to have an appointment with a Dr. Dincer at the Pulmonary Clinic in Las Vegas had me set up for an appointment at his clinic on September 25. I received a letter on September 21, telling me that I had missed my appointment on September 19th. I called in right away and explained that I had never had an appointment on the 19th but that I had to have an appointment right away. He said I could come in on Sept 23 at 1:45 PM. When I met with Dr. Dancer he said I should have another CT Scan done in Pahrump right away only this time it should be with dye. I was getting good at this by now so I had the CT Scan with dye done the next day. Click here or on the left column to read this report. Dr. Dincer showed me the picture that had taken on Sept 2, without the dye, so I finally saw what my lung looked like. He said that I had a lot of scaring on both lungs that he could not identify as cancer. He said that he thought the odds of me having lung cancer were only about 50/50 and that I would need a biopsy to tell for sure just what I did have. He set me up for a biopsy to be conducted at Mike O'Callaghan Hospital at Nellis AFB on October 5.

My stomach had been bothering me so much that on September 28, I went back to Pahrump Clenic and persuaded Dr. Karl to authorize an ultrasound of my abdomen. I had that scan on September 30th. Sometime in late September or early October I ordered, received and began taking Selenium, 200 mcg and Agaricus Blazei (Japanese Musheroom pills) 500 mcg. Later in September I doubled those doses and started taking double those amounts.

On October 5th I drove in to Las Vegas. La Vonne and I met up with our son Ron at a convenience store right on our route to the hospital. Ron drove the rest of the way to the hospital. We had a little trouble figuring out where we should be but finally found the right place and all went well from there on. I was not allowed to drive when we left I was still a little dopey but I think Ron Drove us home to Pahrump, I just don't remember. While I was at the hospital Dr. Dincer looked up the results of the Abdomen Scan and told me it was negative.

On October 7th while shopping at Wal-Mart we received a call from Dr Dincer telling me that my Biopsy was positive for lung cancer and he would refer me to Oncology. Click here to read the report on the Abdomen Scan and on the Biopsy. It seems that the cancer that I have is "not small cell ADENOCARCANOMA"

Oct 23, 2009 I had a one hour appointment with Dr. Sharma the Oncologist at the VA Clinic 3880 So. Jones. Ron drove me to the appointment. Dr. Sharma pretty much said that he had been an oncologist for 25 years and did not heard of any cancer treatment other than chemotherapy, radiation and surgery. He had heard rumors that there were some charlatan's out there that pulled off hoaxes to cheat cancer victims out of their money.

I consented to begin chemotherapy just to give me more time to make up my mind. Dr Sharma suggested that I have a port put in to that they would not have to stick me with a needle each time I received chemotherapy. He said someone would call me right away to arrange for the port. When I left I made an appointment with Dr. Sharma for a follow up as he instructed on November 6 for a follow up.

Wednesday,October 28, 2009, five days have gone by... I received a phone call from a lady who said she worked for the VA in Las Vegas. This woman did not speak very good English. She told me that she would make me an appointment on November 9 and on November 12. I didn't understand what the appointment on November 9th was for but the appointment on the 12th was to put in the port. That would make it 19 days after I saw Dr. Sharma for the first time. The port must be in for at least a week before they can begin to use it. That would make it 26 days after first seeing Dr. Sharma the Oncologist.

La Vonne then tried to call Dr. Sharma to see if the 30 minute follow up appointment could be canceled. The woman that she talked to was not Dr. Sharma's nurse but she said she would give Dr. Sharma's nurse the message. At this point I don't know if I need to go into Las Vegas on November 6th or not. The woman that called from Las Vegas said she would send me something in writing to confirm the appointments that she was making for me. She said that I could go into Pahrump Clinic any time before October 9 and get a blood test.

October 30 2009 I had an appointment today with Dr. Le Viseur who has a private practice in Pahrump. I had never met the man before but I had heard good things about him. I was so pleasantly surprised when I met him. He is almost my age, he is 70. He said that he had served 20 years in the Air Force and retired before he went to Medical school. He and I hit it off right away. He spent an hour with me discussing one of the biggest decisions of my life, whether to accept or decline chemotherapy. Earlier today I had told La Vonne that I had decided to decline because I know that Chemo has never cured anyone and potentially would make it more difficult for my home treatments to work. I have some curry powder extract on order that should be here any day and that could help prevent irreparable damage to my immune system At any rate during my conversation with Dr. Le Viseur he persuaded me to go ahead and try at the first treatments. La Vonne was glad hear that, she seems to think all Medical Doctors posses some kind of magic that sets them apart from other people. I think that is hogwash that Medical Doctors are just selfish, greedy men that have no qualms about murdering 50 million people a year just to line their own pockets with some of that 1.3 million dollars a year that they charge every cancer patient to murder him. I know you are saying that if that is how I really feel why don't I turn down the chemo? I don't turn it down because Dr. Le Viseur and Bill Carl, my PA at the VA seem so sincere.

I am not really risking much with this decision, there is some consideration due to the fact that I would only have maybe 15 years at most and they would be the most miserable days of my life. In all truth I have done very little with the last fifteen years of my life and it seems that the older you get the worse life treats you. There are a lot worse things than crossing over in your mid seventies while you are still legally sane.

November 3, 2009, My son Ron drove me out to Mike O'Callaghan Hospital for pre op physical. November 5, 2009, I had the surgery at Flamingo Surgical Center in Las Vegas. After the surgery when they implanted the port in my chest I felt pretty good so Ron and I met up with his wife Nancy and My Grandson Kyle and enjoyed a great but way overpriced BBQ dinner at Luceles BBQ in Green Valley.

November 6, Ron drove me in to keep the appointment with Dr. Sharma my Indian Oncologist. He introduced Ron and I around to the people in the injection room. I am set up to start receiving Chemotherapy on Tuesday November 10. I am going to take the VA Van on that day just to see if it can actually be done Ron is still available to drive me but I want to try the van.

November 10, 2009.... I got up around 4:00 AM, prepared my lunch and gathered my reading materials then met the guys at Desert View Hospital, where the DAV park their van. I had been too sick to eat anything on November 9 except for a couple banana's but gratefully felt pretty good on the morning of the 10thWe pulled out at 5:45 AM sharp. We had one additional stop, that being at the VFW on Homestead. From there it was an easy ride into Las Vegas for the five of us, the driver and 4 passengers. By 7:30 AM they dropped me off at the VA Oncology center at 3880 S. Jones Blvd. That turned out to be the high point of my day. It seems that actually receiving Chemo Therapy in the Southern Nevada VA was not a very well thought out process. By 8:00 AM I was admitted to the Infusion room but was told that they could not start my treatment because Dr. Sharma, my Hematologist had not approved the proceedure. As you recall I had just left there on November 6 and Dr. Sharma had approved everything and even walked me next door to the infusion clinic and introduced me as a new patient that would be starting my Chemo on the 10th.

I had to wait until 9:15 or so for Dr. Sharma to arrive to get this snafu straightened out. In the meantime my Son's Steve and Ron seem to have appeared to wish me well, which is kind-a-like wishing me bon-voyage except I wasnt going anywhere. The infusion room staff continued with my processing and had me all ready to start by 9:00 AM but still no sign of Dr. Sharma or his approval. I left the infusion room about 09:20 to check of Dr. Sharma who was now in his office but was very busy seeing his scheduled clients. I boldly interrupted him which did not seem to please him very much, he made it quite clear that If I were to see him I should apply for an appointment???? Finally he acquiesced and signed his permission just to get rid of me and I went back to the infusion room.

Back at the infusion room I had a nice visit with Steve and Ron until about 10:30 when they were asked to leave as there were only 8 chairs in the infusion room and they had all filled up. The problem then became apparent that no one had shown up or called in about staffing the pharmacy. The infusion room could not draw the poison chemicals they needed to use of the patients. Another half hour passed before an LPN who apparently had adequate credentials showed up and issued the chemotherapy chemicals.

By a little after 1:00 PM the DAV driver returned for me. He said that If I did not leave right then I would be left on my own to get back to Pahrump shanks mare. Since I had just started receiving my five hour treatment an hour earlier I told him to go ahead. It seems like anything I try to do with this idea of receiving Chemotherapy treatment I am breaking new ground that no man has ever walked before.

Around 2:00 I called La Vonne, Larry answered her phone saying that the girls were playing bingo but they would come in to get me before 4:00 PM. At 4:00 PM they closed the clinic. I was the first patient in that morning and the last one out that evening but I did receive my first helping Chemo treatment. Larry and the girls arrived about 4:15 which for no good reason left me all excited and upset. I had started shaking, while standing around in front of the building.

After apologizing to my family for my big mouth we returned immediately to Pahrump where we all had half price buffet coupons. It was a fish fry. I ate too much but it was all very good. I felt pretty good all day and ate plenty. I guess that I have pretty much given up trying to maintain an alkiline diet. It just was too painful on my stomoch, I always felt like I was entering the death process as when I ate only alkline foods I could feel my body shutting down.

Dad went to the hospital on December 4th. He never took another round of Chemo therapy, because he didn't like the way it made him feel, and he wanted to leave life, as he lived it. On his terms. People visited him every day from December 4th, until the last day of his life. He was even visited by his friends on the staff at Terrible's casino, who must have missed his playful grumpiness at the coffee shop. Over the next two weeks, his condition deteriorated quickly until approximately the 14th, when he could no longer take nutrition, or speak. His son Ron stayed most of this time in Pahrump during these last days, commuting to and from his job at the Aria, and Steve, Kim, Nancy and others would visit whenever they could. On December 15th, Steve came out after Ron called him to report that time was growing short, and on December 16th, Steve went out again. This time with Kim and Kristal. When combined with the twice daily visit of Mom, and the morning visit by Ron, he got to see his entire immediate family, as well as some of the extended family for a nice long visit during which we said our goodbyes, prayed, and made Dad as comfortable as we could.

At approximately 4:00 AM, Clifford Zane Roehr was called home by our Lord, and entered eternal life. He is survived by the love of his life, and his wife of 55 years, LaVonne. His two sons, Steven and Ronald, and their wives, Kimberly and Nancy, His grandchildren, Patrick, Sondra, Kristal, Jason and Kyle; His two brothers, Arturo and Alberto, his Sister Patricia, and numerous nephews, nieces and cousins.

He was a complicated and often misunderstood man. He had a keen sense of observation, and a brilliant mind. His three novels and many essays and observations will remain posted here, and will hopefully provide some food for thought for friends, family and others over the generations to come. His son Steven, is working on some extra chapters to Dominick Gianelli, which will posted sometime soon, that will add to the story in a way requested by Dad in some of our final conversations together.